To My Beloved Daughter

(Sorry for the delay in the publication. This should have been posted on Wednesday. Having problems with internet connection. Huhuhu!!! Belated Happy Birthday, Nak!)

Into this harsh world I brought you
With a hope of a bright future

Between me and my love so true

And the children we’ll have for sure.

You knew how hard we toiled and tried

All throughout the years of your life

But no matter how much we strived

We cannot escape lots of strife.

It sometimes feels like we have failed

In our endeavors, promises

But we hope you do understand

And work hard for your own success.

To you, my daughter, all my love

And all the best wishes I give

May God bless you and keep you safe

Success be yours through all the years!

Man of my Dreams

Man of My Dreams2

You are the reason why I smile,

You are the cause why life is worthwhile,

Life is hard but I’m still happy

For you who truly completes me.

Before I met you, I asked God

For a special man who can love

This girl whose life story is sad

Angels cry from Heaven above.

God heard, my prayers He granted

One whose personality seems

All that I can ever wanted

He gave me YOU, man of my dreams!

Man of My Dreams

Taking The Plunge

Sometime last week, I heard a peer of mine say talks about marriage life and hearing negative things about it makes her fear getting married at all.  

So, I wondered, if my posts of the past two weeks could have attributed to her fear  or if talks she heard from plights of women who are suffering from marital problems or are on the verge of marital breakup.had? Anyway, as usual, I kept the question to myself and reflect over it.

I was born when my parents got separated and was only able to finally meet my father when I was about to start schooling at the age of seven.  Imagine the wariness emanating from a seven-year-old at looking at an unfamiliar face who was supposed to be my father.

I can almost still recall the uncomfortable feeling.  Then while growing up under the same roof with him, often than not, I felt like I was a total stranger to him.  Suffice it to say that my memories of a so-called father and man of the family was not a pleasant one, not to say the least, that growing up in a not-so-normal household would have traumatized many children, especially a young woman, exposed to violence and irresponsible behavior of adults.

As a teenager when having crushes, even boyfriends, is the norm, I lived in worry and wariness around men, for fear that my father would make a cripple out of any young men who might give me attention.  Looking back though, I might have my father to thank for for honing my senses as to what kind of man is ideal with me.  

Men who were not that courageous enough or in love enough went scurrying away without me lifting a finger to shoo them on their way.  Weren’t I sad to have not the chance to even enjoy much of their company?  Well, I was spared of getting my heart broken unnecessarily.

I have read on a book before that children when exposed to violence and traumatic experiences with a parent tend to grow as introverts, even, emotionally crippled.  In some sense, I was indeed an introvert.  

During my teenage years, my father had shown me excessive attention which if he had manifested it when I was still younger, I might had been ecstatic.  This sudden turn of events had caused me a lot of uncomfortable even embarassing experiences that would have incurred phobia and hysterics to other teenagers.  It made me feel odd but thanks to most of  my classmates those years, male and female, they had not made me feel like an alien among their midst.  They still accepted me and helped me make it through those difficult years.

Several more uncomfortable events occurred throughout my college days that would have made many young women cringe at the thought of ever having anything to do with men for fear that they might end with the same kind of man I had to live with for most of my teenage life.

Had I for a single moment thought of not marrying and creating a family of my own because of my bad experiences living with my father?

In all honesty, what I thought and prayed back then was to find a man whom God will grant me, who will accept and love me and my family for whatever he can see and know about our entire story.

When I finally met my husband, while I was looking at him at a distance, a flash of realization just suddenly hit me, and I said to myself, “this is it!  It’s him, the man I am destined to be with.”  More than a year after that, I took the plunge and exchanged vows with him.  

Nineteen years and counting, we are still together.  As I had said in my previous blogs, our marriage life was not an easy road to traverse.  Trials and hardships we both gone through added spice to a marriage meld by time and numerous tests.  But if asked if I regret any of those years with him?  Despite everything, I would say, I am glad I took courage and went beyond my inhibitions and fear, for I could have never chosen a much better man other than my husband.
In making a decision about our own life, we should remember, upon our hands lie the outcome of our actions.  By taking the risk, we might be uncertain of what lies ahead but we are the managers of our own destiny.  It is like driving a car along a cliff, the wheel is tightly grasped in our hands.  It lies upon us to what direction we can go-to safely reach our destination or to careen over the cliff. 

If we aspire something for our life, we need not put shackles around those dreams in fear  of the unknown.  The thrill of the unexpected and the unknowns spikes up the level of interest and makes life more exhilarating.  Life would be redundant and boring if we don’t explore what is out there.  We will never know the thrill of hurtling barriers if we don’t experience obstacles. We will never fully enjoy life if we always shy away from getting out of our protective shells.  

So, the choice is really up to you but why not…


God is With Us!

When it rains, it pours.

This was the quote that immediately came to mind, when I thought of all that has been happening with my family lately.

A month hadn’t pass us yet since we had to face that nerve-wracking operation my daughter had to undergo and now I had to once again submit myself to that proverbial rollercoaster ride, with my heart jammed in my throat.

Having to face situations like this, makes me feel like I am standing on a precipice, facing a cliff with jagged edges of rocks taunting me below, while behind me is a dark cloud formation that unnamed, unknown dangers could spring out suddenly.

In other words, it felt like no matter which way I look, problems and trials surround me.and rhe members of my family.  Am I just experiencing paranoia or am I just overreacting?  

I read somewhere before that our family members would always be our weaknesses, and I totally agree with that.  Over the years, I would always say to myself, I rather prefer to be the one who’s ill than any member of my family.  Yes, and I would still choose that because, at least, I am actually the one suffering.  The pain is first hand and I could take the pain or know how to handle it or myself on such a situation. 

But when the one who is suffering is a loved one, not really knowing how much in pain he is or when I see him gritting his teeth to whatever he must be going through and to spare me from worrying, nevertheless, I get worried the more.  

Various thoughts bombard my senses then.  I had to shield my inner thoughts from being totally corrupted by all the negative thoughts that just come to taunt me like the monsters they are.  

A battle ensuing inside my brains could prove more energy-depleting and stressful than actually battling it out with fists and fangs (as if, I had been in one).  Anyway, with a physical fight, I would probably receive bruises and gashes even, but with the mental one, the pain of worrying over the unknown is more debilitating.

It takes too much effort to just channel my mind on other things that needed my attention. But then, after too much thinking and worrying, realization comes like a light dispersing the dark clouds.

In all the trials and tribulations I had gone through, was there a single one I had not hurdled?  Isn’t being alive and writing now proof enough that I even survived life-threatening events?  In everything that had happened, did God ever ignore or forsake me?

Asking myself those questions and answering them truthfully made me realize that my Father in Heaven loves me a lot!  He has not for a single moment left me by myself.  In all of those terrifying moments, He made sure that I made it through all of them.  He always paved the way for me to find any help I would need whenever I needed it most from surprisingly or unlikely sources.  Time and time again, the Bible passage from Matthew 7:7 was proven true to me.

So, despite being worried for knowing my beloved is sick, I am much more relieved now for I believe God will watch over my loved ones and will help us through these tests.  I know God is with us. 


 

Luxurious Moments?

Warm hugs and cuddles

Entirely make up

For all life struggles

That we’ve to face up.

I woke up this morning to warm hugs and cuddles.  Ain’t that the best way ever to wake up to?  It made me smile and greet the new day with a positive spirit and energy.  It wiped away the troubles and pains of yesterday effectively and made me feel thankful that I am given another day, another chance to enjoy life and submerge myself in this euphoric feeling of having loved as great a guy as this man smiling down at me, waking me up with a sweet kiss and warm hugs.

Over nineteen years of being married, being comfortable and fully-adjusted with each other’s sleeping patterns and habits complete with all the odd stuffs like snoring, gritting of teeth, even drooling (Ew!!!  Hahaha!!!).  

Each day had passed by almost in a blur, like movie scenes scrolled fast forward. Days came tumbling one after another, getting routinary –day in and day out — that we tend to take for granted wonderful, seemingly ordinary things and  events in our lives, such as waking up face-to-face with the same person we lived with all these years

Having days such as this, made me think back once again to those days when we were still young and just started out together on this journey we called “married life”.  Hay…

Oops, don’t misunderstand me.  I don’t regret being married and all that.  My married life may not be made up of silk and bright colors, but, neither is it all dreary black.  It may have been a bumpy ride but it isn’t that all scary.  I would say it has been fun.  There were ups and downs, loops and jumps, but all of these events had made life interesting and even exciting.  

It’s just that time can fly by us so swiftly.  It passes by us so fast that there were days we cannot even have the time to appreciate how bright the sun shines or how beautiful the birds sing.  We were just too busy living our lives, that is.

But, today waking up to such a beautiful day, made me wonder, how many times in the past years had I failed to savor the sweetness of moments like this?  Has it become a luxury that I failed to grasp and enjoy when it was already offered in a silver platter?

Whatever it is though, I decided once and for all, it’s not yet that too late for me to hold my fortune firmly in my hands.  I just have to once in a while lay back and enjoy my great fortune, indulge myself in luxury, if indeed time has turned moments like this into luxury…because I’m worthy of it.

Are you an Angel or the Devil?

As we live in this world, no ordinary man living could ever say he never had any conflict with anyone.  Even those declared as saints must have at one time or another been in a conflict or two.  But how each one of us handle such conflict is what can set us apart from one another.

To understand the topic much better, let me first discuss with you the theories behind this trouble maker.

What is conflict?

Conflict is an active disagreement between people with opposing opinions or principles.  It can be constructive or destructive.

Constructive conflict is a healthy, constructive disagreement between two or more people.  This is the type of conflict that can actually benefit people and the organization where such people belong to. 

People engaged in constructive conflict develop a better awareness of themselves and others, thus, they are able to produce new ideas, learning, and growth among individuals, leading to innovation and positive change for the organization on which increased productivity may be expected.  Working relationships are also improved when two parties work through their disagreement, lifting up morale when tensions are released (Roberto G. Medina, Ph.D., Human Behavior in Organization, p.237).

Destructive Conflict, on the other hand, is quite the opposite of constructive conflict.  Destructive Conflicts can decrease work productivity and job satisfaction and contribute to absenteeism and job turnover (p. 238).

There are four (4) levels of conflict:

  1. Intrapersonal Conflict – the kind of conflict that we face internally as when we experience personal frustration, anxiety, and stress; 
  2. Interpersonal Conflict – the type that occurs between two or more individuals who are in opposition to one another.  For example, in the pursuit of their goals and the means for their accomplishment.  Emotional conflict (i.e. conflict arising from feelings of anger, dislike or resentment) is another example. 
  3. Intergroup Conflict – this occurs among groups in an organization.  This type of conflict is actually quite common in organizations.  Nonformal groups, after all, are common even just within an office composed of several employees.  Groups that might have different sets of views about certain things in the office or have varying interests that might clash with one another. 
  4. Interorganizational Conflict – that type of conflict that occurs between organizations which is most commonly referred to the competition and rivalry among firms operating in the same markets.

Let us continue the theories of this topic on a further discussion next week.  For now, let us focus and apply the theories we have learned so far in the world of the living.

So, have you been in a conflict?  Were you the Angel or the devil in that conflict?  The villain or the heroine?

So far, from the theories we discussed, we learned that not all conflicts are negative.  There are kinds of conflicts that if we only look at it positively can challenge us to do things better, to improve ourselves.  By lifting ourself up from the negative concept of clashing with someone, we begin to realize that the situation has helped us instead to strive for the better and our disposition lightens up making us capable now to reach out to the other person and fix up our differences.  If the other is willing and of positive disposition, as well, imagine what great things the two of you can possibly create.

So, to end today’s post, let me share another Bible verse that may impart an important reminder to us.

Painful Love (Poetry)

  • Love, they say, can move a mountain
  • But love can also cause great pain
  • Yet love is also a healer
  • So love again a lot better.
  • “Love is a many-splendored things”
  • And men should be loving beings
  • But why are there many women
  • Who just get bullied by their men?
  • We ask, how could they let it be?
  • In the name of fidelity?
  • Or would you say for martyrdom
  • That they would forsake their freedom?
  • We’d never ever understand
  • What pain these women withstand
  • We could maybe smirk, huff and scoff
  • We forgot they had it so tough.
  • But, hey, what can we really do
  • If they cannot help themselves too?
  • It’s hard to become a mother
  • Alone, with kids to think over.
  • Painful love, how cruel are you
  • Trapping women, their children too?
  • In a life full of misery,
  • When will you ever set them free?