When it rains, it pours.
This was the quote that immediately came to mind, when I thought of all that has been happening with my family lately.
A month hadn’t pass us yet since we had to face that nerve-wracking operation my daughter had to undergo and now I had to once again submit myself to that proverbial rollercoaster ride, with my heart jammed in my throat.
Having to face situations like this, makes me feel like I am standing on a precipice, facing a cliff with jagged edges of rocks taunting me below, while behind me is a dark cloud formation that unnamed, unknown dangers could spring out suddenly.
In other words, it felt like no matter which way I look, problems and trials surround me.and rhe members of my family. Am I just experiencing paranoia or am I just overreacting?
I read somewhere before that our family members would always be our weaknesses, and I totally agree with that. Over the years, I would always say to myself, I rather prefer to be the one who’s ill than any member of my family. Yes, and I would still choose that because, at least, I am actually the one suffering. The pain is first hand and I could take the pain or know how to handle it or myself on such a situation.
But when the one who is suffering is a loved one, not really knowing how much in pain he is or when I see him gritting his teeth to whatever he must be going through and to spare me from worrying, nevertheless, I get worried the more.
Various thoughts bombard my senses then. I had to shield my inner thoughts from being totally corrupted by all the negative thoughts that just come to taunt me like the monsters they are.
A battle ensuing inside my brains could prove more energy-depleting and stressful than actually battling it out with fists and fangs (as if, I had been in one). Anyway, with a physical fight, I would probably receive bruises and gashes even, but with the mental one, the pain of worrying over the unknown is more debilitating.
It takes too much effort to just channel my mind on other things that needed my attention. But then, after too much thinking and worrying, realization comes like a light dispersing the dark clouds.
In all the trials and tribulations I had gone through, was there a single one I had not hurdled? Isn’t being alive and writing now proof enough that I even survived life-threatening events? In everything that had happened, did God ever ignore or forsake me?
Asking myself those questions and answering them truthfully made me realize that my Father in Heaven loves me a lot! He has not for a single moment left me by myself. In all of those terrifying moments, He made sure that I made it through all of them. He always paved the way for me to find any help I would need whenever I needed it most from surprisingly or unlikely sources. Time and time again, the Bible passage from Matthew 7:7 was proven true to me.
So, despite being worried for knowing my beloved is sick, I am much more relieved now for I believe God will watch over my loved ones and will help us through these tests. I know God is with us.