Foolish Me (Poetry)

  • How good the Father is to a sinner like me
  • He keeps me from doing any iniquity 
  • He keeps me safe, secure, away from any harm
  • If only I will believe and keep myself calm.
  • My greatest problem, though, is with this foolish heart
  • Which with fears, worries, doubts is never seemed apart
  • Despite knowing, deep in my heart, my faith is great
  • Yet I always tend to fall in such a sad state.
  • Oh, my dear Father, please keep your patience with me
  • Please get rid of this petty insecurity
  • From my own weaknesses, please save me, have mercy
  • For without you, I’m nothing, that’s a certainty.

Beware of…the Witch

My Dear Readers, have you enjoyed the topics I’ve discussed about conflict so far?  In the conflicts that you had been in, were you the angel or the devil? (http://wp.me/p8f1bw-2Z)

You aren’t the root cause of conflict, I hope! (http://wp.me/p8f1bw-3m

This Sunday I am supposed to discuss how to deal with conflict, but I realized that I have not discussed in detail the personalities as a personal factor that can cause conflict.

Do you know that there are ten (10) types of conflict-causing personalities? 

You must have never thought of labelling the type of personality that someone you had in conflict with before, right?  She is either just a witch or a mere nuisance. 

So, let us find out what are these ten types of personalities.

  1. The Aggressor (Ang Pala-away)– that type of person who is a verbal bully and who is likely to shout, thump the table, or point the finger in order to emphasize his point.  He or She cause unhappiness and friction within the group. 
  2. The Passive Aggressor (Ang Traidor) – the person who manages to block progress at every turn.  He or she never volunteers to do anything, never puts forward any ideas or suggestions of his or her own, and never works as hard as he or she is capable of doing. Edit
  3. The Chronic Absentee (Ang Pala-absent) – this person makes repeated absences from work. 
  4. The person who makes too many errors (Ang Palpak). 
  5. The Negative Person (Ang Nega)– this person is always critical of other people and their achievements.  A variation of the negative person is the one who foresees failure in every suggestion. 
  6. The Chatterbox (Ang Chismosa) – this person is one who often comes into a workplace, full of gossip or inconsequential news, and distract or disrupt workers from their production activities. 
  7. The Do-Nothing Person (Ang Tamad) – this person does not want to do anything because he or she is scared of making a mistake.  This forces others to do what he or she is supposed to do. 
  8. The Unreliable Person (Jack-of-all-Trade) – this person wants to be liked by others and because of this, he or she agrees to do what everyone asks.  Because he or she gets overloaded with work, he or she ends up unable to do most of the tasks he or she sets himself or herself to do. 
  9. The Time-waster (Ang Pawala) – the person who thinks company time can be spent for his own personal benefit like using it for personal telephone calls, preparing a shopping list, or playing computer games. 
  10. The Resentful Person (Laging Galit) – this is the person who always feel resentment.  What he does negatively affect others. His feeling of resentment is a result of any or all of the following:
  • Personal dislike of a certain person 
  • Bigotry (prejudice against a particular race or culture) 
  • Prejudice against women 
  • Prejudice against younger people 

    So, can you now identify what is the type of personality that someone you had in conflict with has?  Are you sure you don’t have one of the personalities enumerated herein? I hope you are not one of those people who gets being whispered behind their backs as…

      

    Saying Goodbye (Poetry)

    Saying goodbye, I found, is never that easy

    When the heart’s in pain, aching so pretty badly

    The mem’ries we had together kept coming back

    Not all of them can make me cry if I’m in luck.

    The times we had together, I took for granted.

    The love he gave me though I never demanded

    He selflessly gave it, I just realized it

    For now, he is gone, and regrets came just too late.

    Are You the Root Cause of the Conflict?

    Hello, Dear Readers!  Let me continue the discussion about conflict that I started last Sunday. Today, let me share with you what are the sources of conflict.
    There are only two broad categories of conflict.

    Yes, there are  only two, but, under each category, as the word “broad” implies, there are several factors that contribute to the conflict.

    1.  Structural Factors – refer to the nature of the organization and the way in which work is organized.  They include:

      • Specialization – when people specialize on their jobs, they become less aware of the tasks that others perform.

      • Interdependence – when two or more units depend on each other in completing their respective tasks.  Tension is created if the dependent unit cannot start working because of delays in the other unit.

      •  Common Resources – when an organization’s resources are shared by two or more parties.  The possibility of conflict becomes greater when the resource becomes scarce. 

        • Goal Differences – when different work units have goals that are incompatible.

        •  Authority Relationships – how the superior and the subordinates feel about each other may sometimes be a cause for conflict.

        • Status Inconsistencies – when managers receive certain privileges that are not available to non-managerial employees.  Resentment and conflict becomes a possibility.

        • Jurisdictional Ambiguities – when a part of the company’s overall tasks is left without a clear indication on who should be responsible.

          2.  Personal Factors – the result of individual differences.

          • Skill and Abilities – for example, when a supervisor does not possess the technical skills required in the performance of tasks in his particular unit, workers may develop a negative attitude towards him.

          • Personalities – people do not think, feel, look, or act alike, and these personality differences can cause conflict.

          • Perceptions – for example, when an employee is perceived by his superior as the most effective and rewards him with a promotion, conflict occurs when others disagree with the perception.



            •  Values and Ethics –  for example, when a new employee works hard as expected by his superiors, he may be regarded by the old workers as trying to do something that may expose their shortcomings.


            • Emotions – uncontrolled emotions can cause conflict. For example, when stressed, one immediately flares up at anyone and anything that irks him/her.


            • Communication Barriers – when communication between workers is not effective.  For example, the workers barely understand the language of their superior which results to a negative effect on their performance.

            So, in your own experiences, what kind of factors create conflict between you and the people around you?   Hopefully, the source of conflict is not you. 

            Next week, let me discuss with you how to deal with conflicts.

              Carrying that Heavy Luggage Called Responsibility

              Responsibility, to some might be easy

              As counting one to three, or climbing a short tree.

              But for me, it is like carrying the whole world

              Upon my back like the Indian legend of old.

              I took each of them to heart, very seriously

              For I believe in my heart, that it’s my duty

              To fulfill them, for the sake of my family

              As well as my contribution to my country.

              These responsibilities, in whatever form,

              Should be faced with a committed heart, that’s the norm

              But sad to say, not everyone is that stalwart

              Who can keep up with it with a strong and brave heart.

              To those who have the tendency to fall, waver,

              I deeply pray your faith remains strong whenever

              Self-doubts and weariness suddenly take over

              For God is our Refuge, so please do remember.

              Are you an Angel or the Devil?

              As we live in this world, no ordinary man living could ever say he never had any conflict with anyone.  Even those declared as saints must have at one time or another been in a conflict or two.  But how each one of us handle such conflict is what can set us apart from one another.

              To understand the topic much better, let me first discuss with you the theories behind this trouble maker.

              What is conflict?

              Conflict is an active disagreement between people with opposing opinions or principles.  It can be constructive or destructive.

              Constructive conflict is a healthy, constructive disagreement between two or more people.  This is the type of conflict that can actually benefit people and the organization where such people belong to. 

              People engaged in constructive conflict develop a better awareness of themselves and others, thus, they are able to produce new ideas, learning, and growth among individuals, leading to innovation and positive change for the organization on which increased productivity may be expected.  Working relationships are also improved when two parties work through their disagreement, lifting up morale when tensions are released (Roberto G. Medina, Ph.D., Human Behavior in Organization, p.237).

              Destructive Conflict, on the other hand, is quite the opposite of constructive conflict.  Destructive Conflicts can decrease work productivity and job satisfaction and contribute to absenteeism and job turnover (p. 238).

              There are four (4) levels of conflict:

              1. Intrapersonal Conflict – the kind of conflict that we face internally as when we experience personal frustration, anxiety, and stress; 
              2. Interpersonal Conflict – the type that occurs between two or more individuals who are in opposition to one another.  For example, in the pursuit of their goals and the means for their accomplishment.  Emotional conflict (i.e. conflict arising from feelings of anger, dislike or resentment) is another example. 
              3. Intergroup Conflict – this occurs among groups in an organization.  This type of conflict is actually quite common in organizations.  Nonformal groups, after all, are common even just within an office composed of several employees.  Groups that might have different sets of views about certain things in the office or have varying interests that might clash with one another. 
              4. Interorganizational Conflict – that type of conflict that occurs between organizations which is most commonly referred to the competition and rivalry among firms operating in the same markets.

              Let us continue the theories of this topic on a further discussion next week.  For now, let us focus and apply the theories we have learned so far in the world of the living.

              So, have you been in a conflict?  Were you the Angel or the devil in that conflict?  The villain or the heroine?

              So far, from the theories we discussed, we learned that not all conflicts are negative.  There are kinds of conflicts that if we only look at it positively can challenge us to do things better, to improve ourselves.  By lifting ourself up from the negative concept of clashing with someone, we begin to realize that the situation has helped us instead to strive for the better and our disposition lightens up making us capable now to reach out to the other person and fix up our differences.  If the other is willing and of positive disposition, as well, imagine what great things the two of you can possibly create.

              So, to end today’s post, let me share another Bible verse that may impart an important reminder to us.

              Dust on a Dry Summer

              As I sit here moping, I ask myself how could this be?
              My mind’s a mess but I’m the image of serenity

              To passing onlookers, how calm and composed I must be

              Deep inside,  I’m so torn up it’s nothing but tragedy.

              From North to South, from East to West, they all ganged up on me

              Trials, hardships, difficulties, they’re all my enemy

              They can be so mean, they can be troublesome, they’re so nasty

              I look around, no one’s there, I look up, “God, please help me”.

              There’s nowhere else I can turn on to, but Lord, only You

              Can give me the answer I need, the one I can cling to 

              When everything around me seemed to be in great despair

              When all my hope have shattered and no one else seemed to care.

              Dear Father, upon your hands, I completely surrender

              Everything in me, my whole life, anything I hold dear

              To guide me, to enlighten me, for You to take over

              For without You, I’m nothing but dust on a dry summer.