My Dear Readers, have you enjoyed the topics I’ve discussed about conflict so far? In the conflicts that you had been in, were you the angel or the devil? (http://wp.me/p8f1bw-2Z)
This Sunday I am supposed to discuss how to deal with conflict, but I realized that I have not discussed in detail the personalities as a personal factor that can cause conflict.
Do you know that there are ten (10) types of conflict-causing personalities?
You must have never thought of labelling the type of personality that someone you had in conflict with before, right? She is either just a witch or a mere nuisance.
So, let us find out what are these ten types of personalities.
The Aggressor (Ang Pala-away)– that type of person who is a verbal bully and who is likely to shout, thump the table, or point the finger in order to emphasize his point. He or She cause unhappiness and friction within the group.
The Passive Aggressor (Ang Traidor) – the person who manages to block progress at every turn. He or she never volunteers to do anything, never puts forward any ideas or suggestions of his or her own, and never works as hard as he or she is capable of doing. Edit
The Chronic Absentee (Ang Pala-absent) – this person makes repeated absences from work.
The person who makes too many errors (Ang Palpak).
The Negative Person (Ang Nega)– this person is always critical of other people and their achievements. A variation of the negative person is the one who foresees failure in every suggestion.
The Chatterbox (Ang Chismosa) – this person is one who often comes into a workplace, full of gossip or inconsequential news, and distract or disrupt workers from their production activities.
The Do-Nothing Person (Ang Tamad) – this person does not want to do anything because he or she is scared of making a mistake. This forces others to do what he or she is supposed to do.
The Unreliable Person (Jack-of-all-Trade) – this person wants to be liked by others and because of this, he or she agrees to do what everyone asks. Because he or she gets overloaded with work, he or she ends up unable to do most of the tasks he or she sets himself or herself to do.
The Time-waster (Ang Pawala) – the person who thinks company time can be spent for his own personal benefit like using it for personal telephone calls, preparing a shopping list, or playing computer games.
The Resentful Person (Laging Galit) – this is the person who always feel resentment. What he does negatively affect others. His feeling of resentment is a result of any or all of the following:
Personal dislike of a certain person
Bigotry (prejudice against a particular race or culture)
Prejudice against women
Prejudice against younger people
So, can you now identify what is the type of personality that someone you had in conflict with has? Are you sure you don’t have one of the personalities enumerated herein? I hope you are not one of those people who gets being whispered behind their backs as…
Hello, Dear Readers! Let me continue the discussion about conflict that I started last Sunday. Today, let me share with you what are the sources of conflict.
There are only twobroad categoriesofconflict.
Yes, there are only two, but, under each category, as the word “broad” implies, there are several factors that contribute to the conflict.
1. Structural Factors – refer to the nature of the organization and the way in which work is organized. They include:
Specialization – when people specialize on their jobs, they become less aware of the tasks that others perform.
Interdependence – when two or more units depend on each other in completing their respective tasks. Tension is created if the dependent unit cannot start working because of delays in the other unit.
CommonResources – when an organization’s resources are shared by two or more parties. The possibility of conflict becomes greater when the resource becomes scarce.
GoalDifferences – when different work units have goals that are incompatible.
Authority Relationships – how the superior and the subordinates feel about each other may sometimes be a cause for conflict.
Status Inconsistencies – when managers receive certain privileges that are not available to non-managerial employees. Resentment and conflict becomes a possibility.
Jurisdictional Ambiguities – when a part of the company’s overall tasks is left without a clear indication on who should be responsible.
2. Personal Factors – theresult of individual differences.
Skill and Abilities – for example, when a supervisor does not possess the technical skills required in the performance of tasks in his particular unit, workers may develop a negative attitude towards him.
Personalities – people do not think, feel, look, or act alike, and these personality differences can cause conflict.
Perceptions – forexample, when an employee is perceived by his superior as the most effective and rewards him with a promotion, conflict occurs when others disagree with the perception.
Values and Ethics – forexample, whenanewemployeeworkshardasexpectedbyhissuperiors, hemayberegardedbytheoldworkersastryingtodosomethingthatmayexposetheirshortcomings.
Emotions – uncontrolled emotions can cause conflict. For example, when stressed, one immediately flares up at anyone and anything that irks him/her.
Communication Barriers – when communication between workers is not effective. For example, the workers barely understand the language of their superior which results to a negative effect on their performance.
So, in your own experiences, what kind of factors create conflict between you and the people around you? Hopefully, the source of conflict is not you.
Next week, let me discuss with you how to deal with conflicts.
As we live in this world, no ordinary man living could ever say he never had any conflict with anyone. Even those declared as saints must have at one time or another been in a conflict or two. But how each one of us handle such conflict is what can set us apart from one another.
To understand the topic much better, let me first discuss with you the theories behind this trouble maker.
What is conflict?
Conflict is an active disagreement between people with opposing opinions or principles. It can be constructive or destructive.
Constructive conflict is a healthy, constructive disagreement between two or more people. This is the type of conflict that can actually benefit people and the organization where such people belong to.
People engaged in constructive conflict develop a better awareness of themselves and others, thus, they are able to produce new ideas, learning, and growth among individuals, leading to innovation and positive change for the organization on which increased productivity may be expected. Working relationships are also improved when two parties work through their disagreement, lifting up morale when tensions are released (Roberto G. Medina, Ph.D., Human Behavior in Organization, p.237).
Destructive Conflict, on the other hand, is quite the opposite of constructive conflict. Destructive Conflicts can decrease work productivity and job satisfaction and contribute to absenteeism and job turnover (p. 238).
There are four (4) levels of conflict:
IntrapersonalConflict – the kind of conflict that we face internally as when we experience personal frustration, anxiety, and stress;
Interpersonal Conflict – the type that occurs between two or more individuals who are in opposition to one another. For example, in the pursuit of their goals and the means for their accomplishment. Emotional conflict (i.e. conflict arising from feelings of anger, dislike or resentment) is another example.
IntergroupConflict – this occurs among groups in an organization. This type of conflict is actually quite common in organizations. Nonformal groups, after all, are common even just within an office composed of several employees. Groups that might have different sets of views about certain things in the office or have varying interests that might clash with one another.
Interorganizational Conflict – that type of conflict that occurs between organizations which is most commonly referred to the competition and rivalry among firms operating in the same markets.
Let us continue the theories of this topic on a further discussion next week. For now, let us focus and apply the theories we have learned so far in the world of the living.
So, have you been in a conflict? Were you the Angel or the devil in that conflict? The villain or the heroine?
So far, from the theories we discussed, we learned that not all conflicts are negative. There are kinds of conflicts that if we only look at it positively can challenge us to do things better, to improve ourselves. By lifting ourself up from the negative concept of clashing with someone, we begin to realize that the situation has helped us instead to strive for the better and our disposition lightens up making us capable now to reach out to the other person and fix up our differences. If the other is willing and of positive disposition, as well, imagine what great things the two of you can possibly create.
So, to end today’s post, let me share another Bible verse that may impart an important reminder to us.
When we say “mirror”, what’s the most popular line that comes to mind, will it be “Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all,” by the Evil Queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? Or in Philippine setting, is it Boy Abunda saying, “I’m bringing out my magic mirror”? How about if you are to face your own imaginary mirror, are you ready to face your true self? Am I?
Oftentimes, on Facebook, we see people (acquaintances, friends, family) who love to post famous quotes or derogatory lines that seemed to point fingers at another person or is meant to make another feel shameful or to prick someone’s conscience BUT failed to notice that these lines are more apt reminders to themselves. I am sure a name of a particular someone will suddenly pop into your mind.
We ask ourselves, how come they don’t seem to realize it?
That is, for the plain reason that no one can see the mud on one’s face unless one faces the mirror and be honest enough to admit the truth that is revealed there no matter how harsh is it.
Yes, I say, it is very difficult for anyone to face one’s self in that imaginary mirror and see what is revealed there. I’ll bet that not so many will even spare a moment to face that mirror.
Will you?
Facing the mirror might reveal two things: things you are proud of yourself and things that you will never even admit to yourself to be capable of thinking or doing, things you are ashamed of. Thus, facing the mirror is tantamount to facing the demons haunting your mind, or looking at the ghost of a forgotten past, or the gaping mouth of a lion making you tremble in trepidation, fear and shame. It is, in other words, admitting to your weaknesses and mistakes to that one person who is most important to you, YOURSELF.
For even to myself I have to admit that facing that mirror might ask more than I am ready to give and might reveal more than I care to accept.
But today, I want to gather up the courage to face that mirror and look into what it will reveal.
It revealed that in my life, there are things that made me wish I can turn back the clock of times so I can change them, or that I can even change myself for the better.
It also revealed that there are things I am capable of doing for the sake of love, for the sake of my family, for survival, for the right to exist in this world.
But most of all, it revealed I am what I am today because of those events that happened in my past. I can say that I became a much stronger, braver, and wiser person than I was before.
I may have grown in a family that may not be all that different among the usual sob stories you see in television, but let it suffice to say that at a young age, I gained a deeper understanding of life.
I realized that in order to change what people can remember of me and my family, I had to change the direction of their thoughts not on the sad facts of my life but on my triumphant journey towards achieving the goals I have set my eyes upon. I wanted them to always remember, instead, where I am now.
I am neither filthy rich, nor am I with a distinguished position in society but I feel what I have now–a stable job, a supportive mother, a loving husband and three lovely daughters, an undying dream–are enough to make me feel I am on the top of the world.
There are maybe things that I have done that I may regret for my whole life but then there is no point on lingering on such regrettable past for what is left to be done is to move forward and to try doing what is right so I won’t commit the same mistakes again. I will maybe forever whip myself in my mind but I will not allow myself to forever cower in fear and shame, for in this world, I may not be perfect but I am the best in giving my all for my family.
So, how about you? Are you ready in…
(Photo Credits: Workbook on Facing the Mirror by Daphne Delay)
Mae Seballos' Blog 